My Story
I am Sandra, and I’m not one for labels. Call me a storyteller, strategist, conscious catalyst, focus facilitator, awareness advocate, clarity counsellor, transformation aide. My sole purpose is to provide you with the tools and solutions that allow you to be YOU again.
I am a certified Master at Law with over 25 years of experience. Some of the wealthiest people on the planet entrust me with their assets.
Born and raised in Amsterdam, my childhood was shaped by a combination of factors, firstly being an unexpected arrival in my family alongside brothers aged 16 and 18. Predictably, this led to a major shift in family-dynamics, resulting in my parents splitting up when I was 4.
Growing up, I was a shy, insecure, highly-sensitive and intelligent child – otherwise known as an easy target at school. My escape was reading and learning and by the age of 8, I had already decided that I wanted to study law, so when I finished school I started to work as a secretary at a law firm whilst studying part-time.
After a few relationships, some more successful than others, I landed myself a great, trustworthy, loving guy, yet I still could not settle. I was married at 26, then divorced at 30. Living abroad in the wonderful Caribbean Island of Curacao, I discovered and relished a new part of myself – the energetic, dance-loving, Latin part, which led to a series of dances. This then resulted in clashes with Latin men – literally. There are certainly spiritual advantages to a near-death experience caused by strangling. My recommendation, however: do not try this at home.
This is when I had my mirror moment: who was I? Where was Sandra? I knew I had to take action, so I escaped. After years of emotional imprisonment, my true value and purpose came shining through. There was no way back.
Once I had seemingly recovered mentally and physically from this emotionally charged period of my life, I fell in love again with a man who seemed attentive and caring. We were soon married and celebrated the arrival of my wonderful son. Yet when my son was 18 months old my husband left us. There I was – divorced again at 41.
I had choices to make now as it was no longer “just me” – I had my son to consider. I could fester, I could wallow or I could I pick myself up and remember who I was, and that I was enough. I could finally dare to heal.
It took a lot of learning, primarily learning to love myself and appreciate myself for who I really was. I read voraciously and I worked on my chakras. And then I started to realise that during my corporate career, as well as my “real job”, I had spent approximately 45,000 hours coaching team members or colleagues. I coached them on group dynamics, transformation processes, personal choices – Life in general. Surely, I could use those skills to be a voice, to raise awareness on toxic relationships, to be a lighthouse for other women who had escaped?
This wasn’t planned – it was just a natural development. A reflection of who I was, who I had become, the sum of every step of my journey. My mistakes, my successes, my learnings, my acceptance of my imperfections all placed me in a unique position where I could help others.
And now here I am! I took the plunge and started to write a book, aptly named Do not Try HIM at Home, acknowledging my true nature. The book launched in the autumn of 2020.
But I know better than most the perils of diving in headfirst at the deep end, so I am taking it step by step.
And guess what? I feel welcome again in MY life. My business set me free and I have just one aim – to make you feel welcome again in YOUR life.
Helping women like you is my true-life purpose. Professional women, who also survived a toxic relationship. I want to help you rewrite your story. To rewrite the script of your life. Hop over to my Facebook group Dare to Displease, where I post daily on all the steps you need to take to embrace your possibilities. To write a story that fits the real you. To showcase to the world who you really are and where you wish to go – truly there are no limits! And rest assured – it is not a “hi new member, tell us your story” group. You will receive a warm welcome. But what you share and when is fully up to you. No pressure!
On the subject of men: I met up again with my first ever love. A love before any of the “HIMs” in the book. We had a wee pause of 26 years, in which we both matured. Now we live together with my son and his oldest daughter. This blend is as shaken and stirred as a martini – but equally just as tasty and sizzling!
I have created the Dare to Displease Facebook group; a safe haven for high achieving professional women, who are or have been suffering from toxic relationships.
